Case Study #2 - I Embarrass Myself at the Gym

Case Study Specs-

The Basics:

1. Get the hell out of the house - Check

2. Smile, Smile, Smile - Check

3. Talk to Strangers - Check

4. Go to the gym - duh.

Main Tactic: Go to places where men congregate and strike up a conversation. Go to games, bars, the gym, golfing, etc. - The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating 2nd Edition.

Situational Analysis:

I started going to the gym regularly when I was 22. I was taking classes at Seattle Central Community College, working part time at Ross Dress for Less down on 3rd and Pike and partying my ass off on the weekends. I was poor and I ate terribly.

After 6 months, Ross decided to promote me and give me a dollar and a half raise. Suddenly my extra income was burning a hole in my pocket and I was torn between upgrading my cable package to include HBO or join a gym. The answer came to me suddenly after I caught a glimpse of myself in a fitting room mirror with powdered sugar on my upper lip and a grease stain on the front of my shirt.

I joined All Star Fitness that same day.

I was one of the lucky ones and was bitten by the gym bug early on. I started going 3 to 6 days a week, promptly lost 30 lbs and have never looked back.

It's been 10 years and countless, countless gyms later and I have never ONCE met a guy at the gym. I don't really know what it is- actually yes I do- there is nothing attractive, sexy or cute about me at the gym. I am usually sweaty, wet, red and in no mood for chit chat. I guard my gym time as sacred "me" time where I can read my celeb gossip, listen loud music and let off some steam.

The Complete Idiots Guide to Dating suggests going after a babe at the gym. Sigh. Yesterday was that day.

So I am on the elliptical at my downtown gym last night and was scanning the cardio floor to see if there was some unsuspecting hottie (or unsuspecting nottie) I could hone in on. I felt like I was a predator looking for the weakest link in the herd.

It's my lucky day, cuz not 5 minutes later a very attractive ginger grabs the machine next to me. I don't know what it is about gingers- I just kind of dig them. It might be because I just like orange things. I like orange dogs, cats, peaches, apricots and boys.

Anyhoo- so I am looking over at him willing something witty to come out of my mouth (short of - "you come here often"), cuz you better believe I didn't register on his radar AT ALL. He had the new Time magazine opened to the Sarah Palin article. Here was something, right?

I pointed at Sarah on the page and said, "so crazy about her quitting right?" (yes I know, not very creative). He pops out an ear bud and looks at me impatiently and says, "huh?"

His lack of smile or warmth or reception instantly makes me blush from my chest up my neck and I repeat my observation.

"Oh, yeah- I guess." Ear bud goes back in and I have been dismissed.

Oooookay. Not interested. I go back to concentrating on finishing my hour on the elliptical and sort of forget about him- for a few minutes. Then decide to try again. But this time as I turn to say something else some sweat that had accumulated on my forearm whipped on to his arm and across the magazine.

It was gross, I know. But he practically fell sideways off the machine he was so disgusted. I apologized, assured him I didn't have cooties, but he was off and running to the locker room. I was so embarrassed (especially since the other people on the ellipticals saw the whole thing go down) that grabbed my own magazine and made my retreat.

Conclusion:

I think I will keep my gym time my "me" time. I realize that my results were from only one encounter and eventually if I kept trying I would probably meet a cool guy. But at the end of the day, not only did I embarrass myself but I missed out on a much needed workout. Not worth it in my book. Gotta work off all those wine calories.